LEARN TO WEAR DIFFERENT HATS
“Every child needs a champion, an adult who will never give up on them.”
- Rita F. Pierson
Raising a special child is hard. The best that parents can do is empathize and equip themselves with the knowledge and skills required to optimize their child’s potential. They also need to learn to de-escalate tense situations and find ways to relieve their own stress and frustrations.
Like elite sports coaches, parents should learn to play multiple roles and take a flexible approach towards parenting. It should be according to their special child’s strengths and weaknesses, temperament, age, and situations of the child. When parents get stuck in one of two modes and can’t change, it becomes challenging to handle the difficult situations they are bound to face in day-to-day affairs.
The mega task of raising special children to be independent, resilient, caring, happy, and successful requires that the parents learn to wear different hats. There might be instances when a parent might have to multitask, but invariably wearing one hat at a time will help them handle things better. So, dear parents, try out and see which hat of these seven hats you can use and which you cannot. If you want, you can start to practice the ones you are not very good at!
1. The Listening Hat: Listen to your child patiently and be watchful and observant. As parents, you need to use your eyes and ears to know what is going on in your child’s life and keep your mind open to listening to their problems and concerns patiently. Be careful to consider non-verbal cues also. This hat is practical when you have to help them help deal with any physical, social, or intellectual conflicts they might be facing. It means knowing what your child might be thinking, feeling, and dealing with when they are away from you. It is also required when your kid feels the urge to express what is happening around.
2. The Mentoring Hat: It is the hat that parents are so used to wearing since the child’s childhood. As parents, you have taught your kids many skills and given them knowledge about many things. Being especially abled, your child could need mentoring differently than just teaching day-to-day skills. You will have to be proactive and perseverant. Wear this hat when you need to help your child develop social, physical, or self-help skills to deal with real-life issues like handling bullies, avoiding bad company, or managing time.
3. The Protective Hat: It is the caring and nurturing hat, and parents find it difficult to take off. Our children begin to assert their independence as they grow, but they still need parental protection and reassurance from you. This hat is required when your child experiences difficulties that they cannot handle, for example, when their physical or emotional safety is under threat or when they are too stressed.
4. The Supportive Hat: It is the hat parents wear when they need to stand back and let children learn from the consequences of their actions and as they experience life’s difficulties. This hat is required when the children face challenges that they are bound to face alone, like making rapport with a teacher, handling school situations, or winning over self-doubts. In such cases, they should know that you are with them when required, which gives them confidence.
5. The Encouragement Hat: You have to wear this hat when you feel you have to give them the confidence to improve. For this, first, you have to be optimistic and trust your children’s abilities to improve. This hat is needed when your child is feeling low or stuck in a new challenge, and they need someone who boosts their confidence and develops the courage to try out new things.
6. The Firmness Hat: Parents can wear this hat when their children need support in regulating their behavior. As the parent of a special child, you might wear this hat once in a while. This hat is generally required to ensure that your child knows where not to cross the line and stick to mutually agreed upon behavioral limits.
7. The Fun Hat: It is that hat which parents of special kids invariably forget to wear. You should wear it often. Try to build a strong bond with your child. by wearing this hat for the right time and in the right way, you will be able to nurture a lifelong bond with your child.
Thus, the hats are all yours. Use them appropriately and be the parent you, yourself, and your child will be proud of one day!
Dr. Kirti Munjal
Principal
Tulsi College of Education for Women
Ambala City
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